Hello, friends! I hope this reaches you in the right moment.

Recently, I’ve been in a pretty good mental state. A lot of the things I have been practicing and learning has been really showing itself in my life and I very much appreciate it. That isn’t to say that there isn’t a multitude of things I believe I still need to work on, because there is, but it doesn’t feel so hopeless. It feels as if I have at least a few tools now to get to fixing myself and my life.

With that being said, the problems that I am currently facing do feel a bit daunting. There’s the money troubles, the interpersonal relationships, my ongoing job search, and feelings about myself that are tough to shake. I believe with time, I’ll have a better and better idea on how to deal with these things, but currently, I feel like I was handed the starting items of a video game and then told to fight the final boss.

While that might seem contradictory to my previous statements, with me I hold a tool that I believe would give the scariest of evils a run for their money. That tool, or skill rather, is a everchanging mindset on myself and reality. I can see the changes happening to my mind in real time, and it provides a sense of confidence and peace that I’ve never really felt before. Despite facing these troubles in my life with what feels like very basic tools, I also have a faith in myself that somehow I will make it through it.

For the last couple days, the biggesst mental issue that I’ve been having is with the thought that despite all the things I’ve been doing, whether it is teaching myself to make art, learn more about myself and the world, as well as put in the hours to enrich my mind and body, I still feel as if none of this is enough to become more successful or get a job. The skills I’ve acquired over the past couple months, and the mental and physical health that I had cultivated don’t feel like enticing things to put on a resume or LinkedIn profile. I feel stuck in a mental loop of feeling better about myself and life, to feeling as if it is mostly pointless in the long run if I’m not getting the exact results I want.

While stuck in this mental loop, luckily I read some books and listened to some videos that spoke about this very topic and while listening and absorbing this information, I began to think of two things. Firstly, the thought dawned on me that while I may not feel as if the skills that I’ve acquired will benefit me in the long run, this is only the beginning. Yes, for now I only have the starter items, but I only just began to actively play the game. I have trust in myself that as time goes on, I will begin to acquire more skills, tools and connections that will lead me farther on my journey, and ultimately lead me to a successful life. Self-improvemtn is not a hobby to do on the side, it is a life-long journey, and I must be able to take that path, however long it might be.

The second thought that I began to have was more a question I asked myself, and it was this: What exactly does success look like to me? People throw the words successful and high-value around so much, that sometimes I feel like it has lost it’s meaning. I, too, had been throwing around those words around, like garnish on an already completed dish. “I just want to be successful” or “I just want a better life.” Every time I said these things, I always somewhat had an idea of what those things meant when other people said them, but when I spoke those words, the image was mostly vague. For some, success might mean luxury cars and mansions, for others it could mean many or quality relationships with other people whether romantic or not, and for others still, it could mean being the absolute best in their field at something. While these are all great and valid ideas of what success might be, they never really resonated with me as the ideal life to strive for.

So what exactly does success look like for me? To be completely honest, I still don’t have a complete idea of what success looks like for me, but slowly it’s beginning to piece itself together. For example, something that I believe is a mark of a successful life is being able to make a living through the creation of art or the usage of my mind. I am not one who strives to use labor as my contribution to the world, however, I respect those who do. Another thing I believe would be a sign of success is having a stable and enriching relationship with my family and friends. For me, having a strong unit of people who love and support you, and that you actively love and support, is one of the greatest signs of character and success. While I understand that there are people who simply just enjoy being alone and keeping their circles small, I am not one of those people, which I believe largely has to do with my upbringing as well as the fact that I have 8 siblings.

While those are some of the things that I believe signify a life of success, those might not be yours, and that is okay. Really take the time to look into yourself and ask yourself the question, “What is success to me?” After you take that step, and really begin to understand what it is that you want in life, it becomes easier to figure out what next you must do to obtain those goals, however long.

I hope that reading these words, however simple they were, encourages you and provides some clarity to your situation, as they have for me. The journey might be long, and it for sure can get hard, but just remember that you can obtain the tools to get you through anything, whether mental, physical, or spiritual. Thank you for reading and I hope you come back 🙂